I think the bishops in our country who are trying to put the Vaseline back into the tube will find that quite slippery to do.
We all know that since the Introit, Offertory and Communion antiphons have become optional as well as the chants appropriate for the Final Commendation, music at funeral Masses is simply inane. I think everyone wants “the You Who” song, aka, “On Eagle Wings”, “Be Not Afraid”, “Amazing Grace” and “How Great Thou Art”. And yes, there is a nod to tradition with any version of “Ave Maria” and of course “Panis Angelicus.”
But I don’t want to talk about that.
Let’s talk about eulogies given by family or friends. Fortunately I stopped those years ago and the parishes where I assist in retirement have done so too. We tell them to do it at the Vigil of the Deceased after the Prayer Service. Only problem is that very few now use funeral homes for any kind of vigil—these are omitted altogether. When I was first ordained the vast majority of funerals had all three movements of the Funeral Rite, the Vigil the night before, the Funeral Mass the next day and the Rite of Committal immediately after the Funeral Mass.
And now with cremation and experience with delaying funerals during Covid 19, people wait weeks, months, years for a Funeral Service of some kind—no one is in any rush to say good bye to grandma—they wait it out and then forget to do anything!
Today, most Catholics are cremated, there’s no vigil, family members drag the ashes in some kind of container to the Church (I had someone who brought their deceased mother from years ago to be at the same funeral Mass with her husband!) And then after Mass there is no rite of committal. They do what they please with the pulverized bones, teeth, dental implants and artificial joints of their loved ones.
Some bishops are insisting that the body burial is to be preferred all the while allowing parishes to build columbarias right next to the church! Really?
And if there is a body, but no vigil, visitation takes place in the narthex an hour before the funeral Mass. If a church has a nice narthex, that doesn’t seem so bad to me, but some bishops are now forbidding this.
I wish they would forbid “The You Who” song and insist on the propers for the Mass, but I digress.
Finally bishops are forbidding eulogies. Thank you. Can inappropriate things be said by family members and friends in the Sacred Confines of the Holy Mass? You bet ya!
I learned all kinds of things about a saintly grandfather from his son who bragged about his dad being a philanderer and his many conquests even in old age. Everyone laughed, except me, I look dour!
No nothing can go wrong with eulogies and an invitation from one family member who speaks for anyone and everyone to come and say something! Either they are canonized to sainthood or little devils!
Can the funeral rites be fixed. Can Celebrations of Life ever become Requiem Masses again?
No, except in TLM communities.
6 comments:
This is analogous to the degradation of music during Mass. i love playing and singing with my banjo, fiddle, and mandolin, but why not later? People are in a rush to have their say and have no time for the Mass.
On the other hand, we had our son's funeral at an SSPX chapel. Because it was Ember Wednesday of Pentecost, the mass for the day took precedence over the Mass for Infants... Seems like a flaw to me. So, there's some balance to be had, I would think.
I have told my wife that I want "Amazing Grace" sung at my funeral Mass so that I'll be glad I'm dead. When my father-in-law died his parish had a woman religious (a pastoral associate, I guess) come to the funeral home to conduct some sort of "service" the night before the funeral. It was dreadful.
Marc,
I am so sorry to hear this news about your son. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Mark J.
Thank you, Mark. This was a few years ago, but your prayers are still very much appreciated and needed.
From the point of view of a priest who is called to do the funeral rite in the funeral home because the family is too non-believing to have a Mass. Let me say it is a challenge. You have people who have no religious ideas and a few superstitions mixed with a few pious relatives . I follow the rite for the good of the deceased and the edification of the believers and try to get the nones to hear what Catholics believe about the last things and salvation. Part prayer and part apologetics. It is so sad.
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