Thursday, February 22, 2018


Learn more about the stages of grief here. (Credit: Faces & Voices of Recovery)

Sudden, tragic death leads first to shock and numbness as well as a certain sense that the person dead is simply away.

Grief is inexplicable and not what most of us think it will be and it takes a couple of years of riding emotional tides to begin to heal all the while experiencing depression. It has to happen naturally and for many privately, contemplatively.
I wonder what impact the media's exploitation of those deeply wounded by tragedy but still in shock so soon after the deaths of so many will have on these young people who need space not exploitation?


rcg said...

Grieving is a time of vulnerability. These peolle are not just being exploited, they are being inculcated and recruited.

Anonymous said...

Some of the tragedies that lead to grief - school shootings come to mind - should be addressed ASAP following those tragedies.

Jane Mansfield was killed in 1967 when her car ran under the rear end of a tractor trailer. Laws were put in place to make manufacturers put a DOT bar at the back of trailers to reduce the risk this tragedy now and in the future.

Seven people died in 1982 when bottles of Tylenol were poisoned. Sealed packages of Tylenol, ketchup, mixed nuts are now the norm in order to reduce the risk of this tragedy now and in the future.

One man, in 2001 tried to blow up a plane with explosives in his shoe. The tragedy was avoided then, but we now send our shoes through X-ray machines to reduce the risk of this tragedy now and in the future.

More than a million people have been killed with guns in this country since 1968, but the only things we seem to be able to offer are "Thoughts And Prayers."

If "exploiting" a tragedy and the grief it engenders brings about a change that can reduce the risk of that tragedy now and in the future, it is a very good thing.

Fr. Allan J. McDonald said...

I get it, the means justifies the ends. I understand now.

Fr. Allan J. McDonald said...

Or is it the ends justifies the means? Either way, I get it, whatever works do it.

Anonymous said...

If "exploiting" the tragedy of anonymous poisonings leads to greater protection for the living, you bet it does.

Anonymous said...

Bee here:

Ah, the social justice warrior....always and everywhere jumping up in light of a tragedy and advocating for change. Because every community organizer knows you must strike while the iron is hot. If you wait, the issue will fade into the background, and then it will be like slogging through concrete to effect the change you want. So, no crises or disaster must be wasted, and it's never too soon after the tragedy to trumpet your cause, because people only get behind your cause when their emotions are running high. It's so much easier then!

And how noble they are! They stand on their soapbox and righteously make their arguments, using somber tones, and painting the issues black and white, emphasizing the tragedy, ignoring the real life disadvantages of their program. Because, you know, once life goes on their precious cause just becomes background noise again. And one thing they cannot stand is a sense of futility.

And when they see their successes in action, the DOT bar, the safety seal on a package, airline passengers standing in stocking feet in line in public (who cares how degrading that is...), they cheer inside, pridefully reveling in the success of their campaign, patting themselves on the back for their bringing about a better world.

What heroes they are!

In actuality at the core of what they advocate for is more governmental interference in everyday life, more regulation, and less freedom. In many ways the change they seek is oppressive, only subtly so. I think their tactics are manipulative and disingenuous. But politics always is.

God bless.

Anonymous said...

Bee here:

Fr. McD said, "I wonder what impact the media's exploitation of those deeply wounded by tragedy but still in shock so soon after the deaths of so many will have on these young people who need space not exploitation?"

Having experienced the death of a brother who was just 20 when I was 16, I can say when you are so deeply wounded by a death so close, it is difficult to even grasp the death, let alone make public comments about what happened.

What people, especially young people need is someone to help them not fall into a pit at this time. What I mean is young people, teenagers and young adults, even the most bright and promising of them, can come to some seriously erroneous conclusions about life itself in light of an untimely death of one of their peers. Conclusions such as:

1) Maybe I should have died instead...
2) Maybe I will die too....
3) Why bother to apply myself in the future. You just die anyway....
4) Life is a forget living a moral life of discipline and hard work and doing something valuable. I think I'll join the rockers and the druggies in fun times...
5) Everybody around me is dying.
6) This was my fault because I didn't (or did)....
7) Why believe in God? He didn't stop this tragedy. He's a gyp too.

And many others.

What young people need is time to process the event, and guidance by trusted adults to discover and uproot any of these false ideas about death and tragedy that young people are susceptible to.

What they don't need is to be useful idiots for the MSM and political opportunists. It's sinful to do something so cruel to those in such deep pain.

God bless.

Anonymous said...

If it takes "government interference" to prevent poisonings, blown up airliners, deaths under trailers, then THANK GOD for Government Interference.

And if you think that NOT having airliners bombed, NOT having people killed under trailers, NOT having people poisoned, in NOT a better world, you have a very strange heart and mind.

If you find taking off your shoes in an airport "degrading" then you live a very sheltered, comfortable life. And if you can't suffer the terrible ignomy of taking off your shoes in airport lines for the safety of others, you are a terribly selfish person.

If you want a totally unprotected air flight, fine. Start the airline, refuse all TSA involvement, and the terrorists will pick your flight first. No screened backpacks and carry-ons, no participation in the "No-Fly" lists, no air marshals for you.

Happy landings.

Anonymous said...

Bee here:

Anonymous said: "More than a million people have been killed with guns in this country since 1968, but the only things we seem to be able to offer are "Thoughts And Prayers."

Gee, over 54 million babies have been annihilated in the womb by way of abortion since 1973, yet, no public outcry from your sector over that atrocity. In fact, we have millions come out screaming in support of it whenever the topic of limiting or eliminating it is advocated.

Very selective in your outrage over the loss of life...

By the way, over 2 million people have been killed in car accidents since 1968. WE NEED TO GET RID OF CARS!!!!!

God bless.

Anonymous said...

I march each year for Life, so I don't know what "sector" you think I belong to.

By the way, cars are not designed to kill. By the way, car operators are 1) tested, 2) trained, 3) licensed in individual states and said licenses are NOT transferable across state lines, 4) required to carry liability insurance, 5) can lose said license for poor eyesight or other disabilities, 6) must be REGISTERED in every state and said registration is immediately available to federal law enforcement investigations.

So, by all means, let's compare guns to cars.

Oh, and when was the last time a car owner drove into a school and killed 17 People?

Talk aboutselective outrage.

Sanity here.

Anonymous 2 said...


It’s very simple really. Whether they are witting or unwitting dupes of the corrupt moneyed interests, you will find so-called “conservative” Catholics (and other so-called “conservative” types), trot out excuse after excuse after excuse to deflect and avoid addressing the issue of gun violence in this country. Here are just a few:

 This is not the right time; it is too soon
 The victims are too raw in their grief
 The victims are being manipulated
 The “socialists” are trying to take away our freedom when they propose any gun regulation measures
 What about Black on Black gun violence in, for example, Chicago?
 And on and on
 And of course not to forget the trump card (pun most definitely intended): What about all the babies being aborted?

I care about aborted babies too but it doesn’t prevent me from caring about babies (or children or adults) after they are born.

But the deflectors need not worry. This time there is more talk, including from President Trump and Governor Scott, because the students are speaking out and the MMM are covering it (and yes, exploiting it, too, for ratings—of course, no-one should deny this, we do live in America after all, where money rules) but nothing will happen; it never does. The moneyed interests (read NRA) are just too powerful. Both Republicans and Democrats are in their pockets. I could be wrong, I would like to be wrong, but I doubt that I am.

Meanwhile people in other countries (including my own country of origin)—where being conservative means one cares about law and order, which means ordinary people are not allowed to run around with guns all over the place—observe this insanity in utter disbelief. “Conservative” over here is different; in so many respects it essentially means “libertarian,” which of course is not the same thing at all. But what do we know? Our Great Leader has just called us all snakes.

Do I sound a bit angry? Probably. But this anger is combined with a very large dose of resignation, bordering on despair, that we will likely never be able to adopt a rational policy response to the guns and violence issue (or indeed many other issues). This said, hope springs eternal, and (since Bee raises the issue of automobile accidents) perhaps we can find some inspiration and encouragement in the successes achieved by the MADD movement (Mothers Against Drunk Driving).