Pope Sees Own Shadow; Predicts Six More Decades Of Francis Papacy
The world’s most famous pope foresees no early end to his papacy. The Pope’s handlers announced Friday that Pope Francis had seen his own shadow... Read More
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Pope Francis To Defrock 300 Priests For Failing To Say ‘Good Morning’ At The Beginning Of Mass
VATICAN––Shortly after it was revealed that his predecessor, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, defrocked 400 priests for sexual abuse of minors, Pope Francis decreed the immediate removal of priestly faculties for 300 priests from Europe and... Read More
Liturgical Dancer Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Drugs
It is being reported this morning that world-renowned liturgical dancer Doris Griffin has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. A USCCB spokesman said that trace amounts of an illegal substance were found in Griffin’s blood... Read More
After 26 Weeks Of Anticipation, 27th Sunday In Ordinary Time Just Around Corner
Thousands flock to St. Peter’s to reserve spots for Mass during the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time. The Christian West––After 26 weeks of eager anticipation, it was reported today that hundreds of millions of Catholics from across the... Read More
New Eco-Friendly Church Using Biodegradable Chalice
LONDON––Speaking to an assembly of Catholic priests in London yesterday, Pastor of St. Philip Neri Catholic Church in nearby Chigwell, England Fr. Timothy Rooney announced yesterday that he would be transforming his church into a more... Read More
1 comment:
Somehow, and given the current state of affairs, I find these stories to actually be believable.
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